Coaching for Intercultural Couples


In the UK, 2.3 million people in the U.K are living or married to somebody from a different culture and according to the 2011 Census, 1 in 10 relationships is intercultural, so the figure is probably even higher by now.  In 2016, I co-founded the London Intercultural Couples Centre (https://tcfp.org.uk/intercultural-couples-and-families/) to provide a safe space where couples from different racial, cultural, religious and faith background can address the unique challenges they face.

In the last five years, I have received a huge number of referrals and have offered couples therapy to many intercultural couples, from all over the world. During the last two years, the Pandemic and attendant remote working has resulted in even more international referrals.

Much of the therapy was based on the Exeter model for couples systemic psychotherapy, which Professor Janet Reibstein and I adapted for intercultural couples www.amazon.co.uk/Intercultural-Exeter-Model-Reenee-Singh/

Over a period of time, it became clear to me that the services I provide for such couples could more aptly be described as coaching rather than psychotherapy, because they are structured, goal based and focus on the couple’s strengths, resiliencies and resources rather than any underlying pathologies. The coaching supports couples through every stage of the family life cycle; becoming a couple, becoming parents, parenting and retirement/old age issues. Step families or blended families come with specific concerns and one of my packages of coaching is tailored for couples who have children from previous relationships.

The most popular ‘package’ of coaching is premarital coaching for intercultural and interfaith couples. This is a six session package, where each session relates to a specific theme, for example, where is home, deciding whether to convert or not, parenting in the future, planning the wedding, relationships with extended family and friends,  dealing with racism and discrimination, as well as more conventional themes such as planning finances, sex and intimacy and language and communication. Money, sex and romantic relationships have different meanings and such differences emerge – and are often resolved – in the premarital preparation coaching.

I believe that engaging in a process of premarital coaching provides a stable foundation for intercultural couples’ relationships and could avert relationship breakdown and conflict. The feedback I have had from clients confirms it’s utility and cost effectiveneness.